Mark Kaufman

My wife and I recently faced the challenging and often emotional act of disposing of her mother’s possessions and saying good-bye to her home after she had passed away. You might think that we would be better prepared, having already experienced this process when my own mother died some years ago. But, no matter how many times we had talked with Mom about her wishes, or how thorough she was making her own end-of-life arrangements, everything she left behind had its own story and special meaning.

Fortunately, we didn’t have to contend with much sibling rivalry or vulture-like relatives. My wife and her sister methodically went from room to room, identifying the pieces of furniture, clothing, jewelry, books and home décor that each wanted to take as a memento and tribute to their mother’s life. Once they had finished, friends and relatives were invited over to do the same. Then, Mom’s extensive book collection was boxed up and donated to the local public library, her wardrobe donated to a women’s resource center, her religious artifacts donated to her local parish. A garage sale was next.

With the April 8 election of one new Fernandina Beach commissioner — a second seat was filled when only one candidate qualified to run — I was reminded of the front page story in the Times-Union a few weeks ago about young people who were considered leaders feeling unsure whether they wanted to be leaders.

That got me thinking about the very nature of leadership, especially as it relates to those who are willing to run for public office.

It’s not as if a candidate can simply go to “leadership school” to gain the requisite ability. Proclaiming oneself to be a leader — when few are willing to follow — doesn’t exactly inspire confidence.

A few weeks ago, I found myself following an "All-American" pick-up truck: American flag and eagle reflective decal blocking the entire rear window, a real flag flying from a pennant holder, "Support Our Troops" decals covering the tailgate. It was only when the driver turned off the road into the Wal-Mart parking lot that I did a double-take. How could someone so proud to be an American shop where the majority of products are imported from China or some other country where manufacturers can shut down operations in the U.S. to take advantage of paying next to nothing in wages there or have no regard for environmental concerns?

There seems to be no shortage of contentious issues floating around Nassau County these days: those opposed to (and in favor of) a tree ordinance for Nassau County; those in favor of (and opposed to) keeping fresh water an integral part of the Egans Creek Greenway on Amelia Island; proposed development of Crane Island and/or Florida A1A, and so on.

It never ceases to amaze me how one person’s voice — and actions — can have such profound influence on the critical decisions to be made.

When our county commissioners were to consider a proposed tree ordinance for the entire county, a few outspoken residents from west Nassau came before the commission to argue about their rights as property owners. Their voices — and concerns — were clearly more persuasive than those who had hoped to preserve the county’s natural beauty and resources.

Last week's election results were hardly surprising. Almost 50 percent of all registered voters turned out to have their say about presidential candidates and the tax referendum.

On the surface in Nassau County (where 51 percent are registered as Republicans, 34 percent as Democrats, and 15 percent as independent or nonpartisan), the facts were fairly conclusive. Voters were overwhelmingly in favor of tax reform, Republicans preferred Mitt Romney and Democrats supported Hillary Clinton (though the winning candidates could muster no more than 40 percent of the vote).

On Tuesday, Floridians not only have the opportunity to exercise their right to vote, but in doing so, can express their beliefs about the best course of action for our state and our country. For the past year, we have had candidates who would be president fill the airwaves (and newsprint) with their vision and plans. And for the past few months, we have heard arguments both for and against the ballot proposition that would impact our property taxes. What is a voter to do?

Even though the field of presidential contenders has narrowed a bit, there still seems to be enough distinction between the candidates to satisfy single-issue voters. That is, if your most important issue is the economy, the war in Iraq, health care, the environment, abortion, immigration or gay marriage, you're bound to find a candidate whose views most closely reflect your own (even though the media has done a fine job of predetermining which candidates should be taken seriously).

Management and organizational development consultants often use the lesson of a frog in a pot of water to illustrate a point about recognizing the change going on all around us. If a frog jumps into a pot of hot water, it will jump right back out again, but if it settles into a pot of cool water, it will stay put even if someone turns up the heat and the water starts to boil.

My wife and I had the occasion to see this lesson firsthand a few weeks ago while visiting her mother in Michigan, helping her overcome the trauma of having her home broken into in midday while she was upstairs napping. She's lived in the same home for 50 years, in a working-class neighborhood adjacent to a major automotive plant. Even though she's quite aware of the area's economic hardships - about one in three homeowners are in foreclosure - my mother-in-law never paid much attention to the ways in which her own neighborhood had changed, and was really taken aback that it might no longer be a safe place to live.

With time at a premium - especially at this time of year - we might not even notice our reflection in a mirror, let alone reflect on the ups and downs of the year gone by. But as one year ends and another begins anew, it's a great opportunity to not only look back, but also to look ahead to our hopes and dreams.

The media will give us plenty of fodder, with their lists of the Top 10 most newsworthy events, best and worst movies of the year, sports highlights and the man or woman of the year most worthy of a magazine cover. But the more we pay attention to these external diversions, the less likely we are to indulge in any meaningful introspection. And looking within is not the easiest thing to do in the first place. We might be reminded of bad choices, missed opportunities, flawed relationships, or worse yet, personality traits that we'd prefer to ignore or keep hidden.

The more we get caught up in our busy lives, the more likely we are to lose sight of what’s really important in life. This holiday weekend, we should remember that Thanksgiving has far more meaning than turkey and all the trimmings, a day of shopping madness, or even an extra couple of days off work. It’s really the perfect opportunity to be thankful.

Each and every evening, as my wife and I sit down for dinner, we take a few silent moments to light a candle, hold hands, and think of something that day for which we are most grateful (other than each other). We’ve had this little ritual for a while now, though I can’t really remember why or when we started it.
But if we needed any reminder at all about why it’s important to do, one arrived along with our songwriter friends from Nashville who came to visit two weeks ago.

One of the first challenges that MGT of America (the firm retained by Nassau County and the Amelia Island-Fernandina Beach-Yulee Chamber of Commerce to develop a long-term vision for the county) has faced is some publicly voiced concern about the steering committee assembled to guide the process - whose interests were being represented, and whose weren't. The criticism was that more than a few on the committee either had ties to the development community, or were directly or indirectly responsible for current conditions, that were clearly bad enough to warrant a $150,000 expenditure to create a vision.